Penny Perimenopause. Wife. Dog mom. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Auto sales and leasing consultant and licensed real estate agent. Scorpio. Not even a little political. Tattooed, foul-mouthed, and sarcastic as shit. Big heart but a little mean. Excels at overthinking and oversharing. Described as “so funny on Facebook.”
“Penny” and her husband hail from a small town in the Mid-Atlantic region. It’s the type of place where most people know your business whether you want them to or not. A place where people aren’t great at saying ‘thank you’ when you hold the door for them and frequently fail to cover when they cough or sneeze. High taxes, crap roads, and a climate that often affords its residents the opportunity to experience all four seasons in one day. These are just some of the conditions that create an ideal breeding ground for a cranky, possibly mentally ill 40-something with no kids that constantly pops off about all the bumps in the road that come with being an alleged grown-up.
Despite her chronic complaints and onslaught of profanity-laced, first-world-inspired daily rants, Penny Perimenopause is really just your emotional support gremlin for surviving modern adulthood. She’s here to reassure you that you’re not the only one silently screaming into the void over grocery prices, mysterious body aches, impossible expectations, or yet another password you can’t remember. She’ll make you laugh until you snort, give you permission to scream, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” at the universe, and happily rage right alongside you over all the glorious nonsense life keeps throwing our way.
But don’t mistake the sarcasm for cynicism. Beneath every eye roll, dramatic sigh, and strategically placed F-bomb is someone who knows she’s living a life full of blessings. She never loses sight of the incredible people, moments, and little joys sprinkled in between all of life’s headaches, inconveniences, and “you’ve got to be kidding me” moments. This isn’t about complaining about the overpriced dumpster fire that we call adulthood in today’s crazy world for the sake of complaining—it’s group therapy with better punchlines. It’s about finding humor in the absurdity, gratitude in the mess, and proof that even on the most ridiculous days, we’re all just doing the best we can.
DISCLAIMER: Penny Perimenopause is NOT (and should probably never be) a licensed health professional in any capacity and the insane ramblings featured on this or any page associated with the I Can’t Be The Only One blog are for entertainment purposes ONLY.
I Can't Be The Only One 