The “Free Time” Trap: When Labor Day Feels Like Way Too Much Labor

Happy Labor Day, my fellow grouchy little gremlins!

If you are reading this today, I have a confession: I almost didn’t write it. I woke up staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of a 48-hour weekend that didn’t feel like a break at all. At same time, I also felt a wave of guilt rushing over me as it seems like I just didn’t do nearly enough.

Why do we do this to ourselves? We get a freebie day off from our actual jobs, and instead of resting our hormonally exhausted bodies, we instantly transform into project managers for our own lives.

I’m up and at ’em now. I’m outside on my breezeway with my coffee and cigs, enjoying a crisp 59° morning and hammering on these keys to create this little labor of love. Once I wrap this up, I might treat myself to a few minutes of silly games on my phone before my husband and I go ape shit on the absurd and unrealistic number of items on today’s agenda.

The “Day Off” To-Do List Delusion

We tell ourselves, “I have an extra day off! I can finally bathe the dogs, purge the summer clothes, decorate for Fall, and deep-clean the bathrooms.” Before you know it, you are running around like a maniac, battling midlife fatigue, and realizing that your day off requires twice as much physical labor as your Monday-through-Friday gig. When estrogen drops, our energy reserves are already running on fumes. Turning a holiday weekend into a hardcore house-flipping episode is a recipe for a perimenopausal meltdown.

For the ladies like me whose brain bounces around like a ball in a bingo cage, often times you’ve run yourself around into sheer exhaustion and yet somehow you manage to accomplish basically nothing. You know you’ve done this before: you’ve wiped down only a third of the kitchen cabinets before jumping to decluttering a small section of your home office and then dashing out the front door to sweep the porch. Your mind races so incredibly fast that all you achieve are tiny, chaotic little bits of six different chores and projects. By 2:00 PM, you are completely wiped out, the house still looks like a bomb went off in it, and you haven’t been able to cross one single, solitary complete item off of your to-do list.

And we’re not even factoring in the possibility of hosting a Labor Day gathering on top of this bizarre game of Playing Catch-up Twister. If you think you can fit this in without passing out from a cocktail of anxiety and exhaustion, I applaud you. I know I have nowhere near the bandwidth required for that. Maybe you don’t either. And that is okay.

So if you’re currently staring down a gargantuan to-do list and feelings of being overwhelmed and other miscellaneous ick are beginning to creep in, here is your official permission slip to regroup and clear your mind. Go sit down. The dust bunnies can wait.

A Reality Check and a Dose of Gratitude

While we are stressing out about our self-imposed chores or rushing to the store for last-minute Heinz ketchup and napkins, let’s take a giant step back and look at the bigger picture.

Many people don’t get this freebie day to relax, enjoy the sunshine, and OD on hot dogs.

In fact, it’s worth remembering the real reason for Labor Day. It isn’t just the unofficial end of summer; it was created by the labor movement in the late 19th century to honor the social and economic achievements of the workforce. It was born out of a fight for basic dignity: fair wages, reasonable hours worked on workdays, and safe working conditions. We owe a massive debt of thanks to the historical workers who marched and sacrificed so that many of us could have a weekend at all.

The cashiers handling the frantic holiday crowds, the first-responders keeping us safe, the gas station attendants, the hospital staff, the kind folks at the hotels (hosting your pain in the ass family so you don’t have to) and the utility workers—they are all clocking in today so the rest of us can function. Let’s make sure we show them extra kindness, patience, and gratitude today. A warm “Thank you so much for working today” can make someone’s shift feel a little less daunting.

Clocking Out for Real

To the women trying to balance hot flashes with home improvement projects today: You are allowed to just exist. You don’t have to earn your rest by checking off a dozen chores first.

Let’s put down the broom, step away from the grocery store rush, leave the hedge trimmer where it is and actually give our nervous systems a break.

Are you officially boycotting a specific chore or task today so you can actually enjoy the holiday? If you’re opting for the route of full-blown relaxation on this bonus day off? If so, what does that look like for you? Let me know in the comments!